it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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