i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
