And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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