tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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