just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
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I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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