i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
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You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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