Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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