I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize