Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
