Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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