I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
even my farts smell like vagina
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
