I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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