I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
