Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
