Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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