But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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