What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
