do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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