Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
