no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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