Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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