Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My pussy is not your playground.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
