Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
