cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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