how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
