is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
