I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've blown a few things in my day
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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