What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she looked like the before picture.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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