I smell stomach acid.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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