I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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