I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
