I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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