well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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