And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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