Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
