It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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