Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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