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I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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