You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize