Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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