Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
