I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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