Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
