If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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