Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (162) Good night (2480) Bad night (36480)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette

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  (339): I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette http://tfl.nu/67ko
  Replies (22) Good night (6125) Bad night (1671)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

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  (631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells? http://tfl.nu/xi2s
  Replies (3) Good night (3532) Bad night (981)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2506) Bad night (1879)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?

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  (970): just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast? http://tfl.nu/o6g0
  Replies (8) Good night (1255) Bad night (3185)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~

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  (651): Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~ http://tfl.nu/6n7p
  Replies (5) Good night (2352) Bad night (688)
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  (310): View more from California

  Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?

  (626): View more from California

  That's two questions.

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  (310): Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away? (626): That's two questions. http://tfl.nu/0koe
  Replies (4) Good night (1963) Bad night (1018)
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  (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

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  (805): Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes. http://tfl.nu/5iyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (534)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

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  (804): I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin. http://tfl.nu/8mge
  Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (522)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.

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  (215): Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro. http://tfl.nu/nta7
  Replies (11) Good night (1959) Bad night (507)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.

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  (651): The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing. http://tfl.nu/9ai9
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (362)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone

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  (306): come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone http://tfl.nu/9a3u
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (304)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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  (774): We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole" http://tfl.nu/4a1v
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (309)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day

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  (815): To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day http://tfl.nu/tlou
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (477)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?

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  (630): There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem? http://tfl.nu/s4pi
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (190)

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