So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.