I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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