In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
