problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
