Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
