he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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