She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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