Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize