I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
