kristin has been a bad kristin
It was confusing and full of hummus
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
