Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
