So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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