We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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