don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
