dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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